I feel bad and I am pissed. I am so tired of it.
I’ve been anxious all day so I skipped my first 2 periods but I decided to pull through and go to my dual classes anyways. I got up, did my makeup, and felt bad. I went to class, took my notes, and felt bad. I texted my mom I was going to my next class off campus, got in my car, and felt bad. I could feel the tears coming but I had done my makeup and I didn’t want to mess it up, so I tried to hold them back. They came anyway, and I was so pissed. I was pissed my makeup was now streaking down my face. I was pissed that I can’t easily go to all of my classes like everyone else. I was pissed that I can’t just feel normal. I am so damn tired of not feeling normal! I just want to be happy! I hit my steering wheel and screamed. I definitely looked like a psycho to anyone driving by. I cried and yelled at myself and at God and at this damn illness because I’m tired of seeing my moms face drop when I’m feeling anxious or depressed. I’m tired of having to text my best friend in the morning to find another ride because I’m not going to school. I’m tired of calling in sick to say I can’t volunteer at H.A.L.T.E.R. I’m tired of feeling like this, I’m pissed.
This is me in the midst of a bad day.
I’ve been anxious all day so I skipped my first 2 periods but I decided to pull through and go to my dual classes anyways. I got up, did my makeup, and felt bad. I went to class, took my notes, and felt bad. I texted my mom I was going to my next class off campus, got in my car, and felt bad. I could feel the tears coming but I had done my makeup and I didn’t want to mess it up, so I tried to hold them back. They came anyway, and I was so pissed. I was pissed my makeup was now streaking down my face. I was pissed that I can’t easily go to all of my classes like everyone else. I was pissed that I can’t just feel normal. I am so damn tired of not feeling normal! I just want to be happy! I hit my steering wheel and screamed. I definitely looked like a psycho to anyone driving by. I cried and yelled at myself and at God and at this damn illness because I’m tired of seeing my moms face drop when I’m feeling anxious or depressed. I’m tired of having to text my best friend in the morning to find another ride because I’m not going to school. I’m tired of calling in sick to say I can’t volunteer at H.A.L.T.E.R. I’m tired of feeling like this, I’m pissed.
This is me in the midst of a bad day.
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