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Authenticity

   Through all the bad I’ve been through and talk about on here, this is the most me I feel I have ever felt and I’m damn proud of it. I think through all I’ve gone through and lost, I found someone I actually like and that’s me. I’m miles from who I was a few years ago and I’m so happy about that. I’ve stopped relying on peoples opinions because I’ve realized the most important persons opinion on myself is my own.
   A year ago I would have been horrified to leave the house with nothing less then a full face of makeup on, where as now I rarely wear any. Not to say that I don’t wear makeup as a screw you to society or whoever, but I’m more comfortable in my own skin so that I don’t feel  I have to unless I want to wear it. I’m also the heaviest I’ve ever been but I’m also the most confident I’ve ever been. Sure, some days I feel fat but I’m not obsessive about what I wear and how skinny it makes me look. I wear something nice if I want to look nice but I’ve started wearing what I like, which, more often then not, is leggings and a big T-shirt (lol). Beauty is so picked apart by society that there is never a right answer and no one will ever met the definition of perfection, BECAUSE NO ONE IS PERFECT (well.. expect my man Jesus). I’m not embarrassed of showing my acne or chub or double chin because being human is such an incredible thing.
   A year ago I hated myself for my bisexuality, now I’m unapologetically part of the LGBTQ+  community. I feel proud for the first time in my life instead of shame; No one can tell me what I feel because in my heart, I know. I’m also now open about my mental health. I’m not saying celebrate illness because that’s what it is, no sugar coating to it, but it’s not embarrassing. I know I’m not broken or disgusting so I’m unapologetic.
   I’m the most authentic I’ve ever been and, God, does it feel good. I think some people wonder why I bare-all for anyone and everyone to see and know, but honestly is just because this is me and I’ll own up to all of it. Not only that, but normalizing things like this is so, so, so, important to me because we are all so extravagantly human. When I say we are human I mean we are all so imperfect, all so gritty, all so different and it is the most beautiful thing. Now, I feel like there is a fine line between trying to be some sort of martyr in showing your imperfections for validations from others,  and doing it for yourself. Peoples  opinions really mean nothing at all because at the end of the day all you are left with is yourself, and you have to love that person.

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