Life Happens

   I’m in what my therapist calls a valley right now, and I like that symbolism for it, so that’s what I’ll call it too. What I’ve learned about life is that it isn’t linear, it’s mountains, valleys, and plateaus. So to put all those cutesy Pinterest sayings aside, I’m saying life kind of sucks right now. I’m not particularly depressed, not particularly anxious, but everything just kind of sucks.    For one thing, I’ve had Mono for about 2 weeks. Before you think I’ve gome around and kissed everyone in sight, it can be spread through drinks too, which I’m guilty of sharing. I know, I know, bad. I’ve learned my lesson because let me tell you, it is hell. For the first week I truely felt like I was physically dying, but it’s progressing gotten better. I’ve always heard people sleep a lot when they have mono but I did not sleep one sound night for about a week because of the pain.    On a less physical aspect, I’ve felt rather isolated. I have a lot of peopl...

Though I miss you something terrible, I know my choice wasn’t a mistake Because I’ve found myself in your absence And that is something I had to do on my own. I thought myself so independent, Never reliant, But looking back, We were so dependent. I’m not preposing you can’t grow with someone, But instead of having our own vines to intertwine, We bloomed together. Now I’ve bloomed on my own And love the life I’ve built myself. It’s not perfect, No garden ever is, But I’ve grown so far and the progress is all of my own. Yet with all the new, I still yearn for you. I wouldn’t take it all back, Not at all, But I hope maybe one day we’ll grow together, Again.

Don’t mistake her Passion as fragility, For once she sank Into the depths of Hell; The fire almost Drowning her, But she resurfaced. She healed her burns Not letting them Close her off, But open her up, Wearing her scars As display of newfound Power over herself. Her beauty is fierce And Her love is fiery; She gives heart But Is far from the damsel.

Stranger with the same face, Where did the one I once loved go? I miss that friend heart wrenchingly But that person I spoke to is not him. He never said cutting things, He didn’t use people to bide is time, And seemingly vain ones at that. I thought maybe it my own fault for the hell that was us at the end, But that hell wasn’t one sided, So I won’t apologize anymore And I’m angry at this new face, I want my other piece back. Not what we once were but That connection I prayed to keep, Which is now severed by pride. But fuck your pride because I knew him, I truely knew him and that’s the him I miss. Not this superficial shell of a person.

I know a girl who is wrong. She thinks her beauty is made Up of the numbers on a scale, But that scale number is Far too high for her liking. She thinks that what  That boy did to her once  Is something she will never move past,  It defines her because who is to blame  But herself when she never said no. She thinks the darkness in  Her mind is too dark to  Put on anyone else’s shoulders,  She’s supposed to be the stable one, So better keep the tears silent. I know she is so much more then that. She is my definition of beautiful. She is so much more then numbers, Then what we are conditioned to think Is beauty because unless you like yourself,  At the end of the day,  Numbers mean shit.  She is my definition of unshaken. She is so much more then the victim,  Then the poison of someone’s actions, Because everyday she goes on Without letting the hate consume her. She is my definition of strong. She is so...

Do you know the day I knew? Conflicted for weeks, Thinking I was naive. But as I stared down at that dirt, Hand in yours, Tears streaming down your face, I knew. You tried to keep it together And I held you closer, Letting you know you are allowed To be broken with me. That is the day I knew I loved you.

Four seats at a table In that little café. Hot drinks in hand, Open hearts in chest. Smiles on lips, Tears on lashes. Do others look on Wondering why they Talk in hushed voices? Wonder how can People so young Know so much sorrow? Do others look on Wondering why they Laugh loud with no regret? Wonder how can People so young Show so much love?