Life Happens

   I suppose this is me officially coming out. I’m slightly terrified but also feel incredibly liberated. I want to be proud of who I am, so this is me, unapologeticly. I am bisexual.     I didn’t have someone in particular that made me “realize” it; in fact, for a long time I denied it to myself. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t think it was cool or popular to be bi (Shocking, I know). I thought maybe it was normal to see girls the way I did so I never thought twice about it, until  around my freshman year. That’s when I started considering I was anything but straight. There were more people coming out and being gay wasn’t as taboo as I had always thought; before you even think it, no, it’s not like that “turned” me gay. I think having my eyes opened to something other then heteronormative life, even if it was just a glimpse, made me realize how I saw girls wasn’t how straight girls saw them. Now, at that point I had had boyfriends and was sure I liked guys. I was totally and

   Sometimes I think it's odd that people I see, talk too, work with, have no clue what goes on inside my head; my illness. It's not always physically noticeable, but it's most certainly there. I have clinical anxiety/panic disorder and major depressive disorder.    About 7 months ago my grandmother underwent a major surgery, which resulted in my first panic attack. My grandmother is now fine, as much as someone her age can be, but my anxiety continued and progressively got worse. I'm not sure if it would have resulted eventually anyway or if the stress of the surgery was a trigger, but from that point forward it's been part of my life. Not only did I start having anxiety, but depression too. They hit me like a brick wall and neither me nor my mom knew how to proceed. We started out just seeing if I could suck it up and wait for it to pass. When it didn't pass, and got worse, I told her I needed something to change because I could not live like this. We started