Life Happens

Rarely a day goes by that I don’t think of us And I know that sounds melodramatic But I’m just a communication fanatic Finding myself with a lack of closure I know we had that day on the bench With our goodbye kiss And I’m not looking for bliss But it looks like you couldn’t give a shit Anymore I talk to my therapist about my problem with loss But maybe my problem with us Is you. I don’t want to throw blame But every time I try to make it okay You want to walk away But wait There was no closure I’m not done And then comes the irritation Acting like I’m some sort of irregulation I’m not trying to have an interrogation I JUST WANT TO TALK No reply. Maybe that’s why I can’t move on. I know we can’t be the same And I don’t want to go back because I was severely depressed Tired of sex The picture of a wreck But what did I do to you for you to treat me like this When I broke your heart I broke mine as well Rarely a day goes by that I don’t think of us

   Through all the bad I’ve been through and talk about on here, this is the most me I feel I have ever felt and I’m damn proud of it. I think through all I’ve gone through and lost, I found someone I actually like and that’s me. I’m miles from who I was a few years ago and I’m so happy about that. I’ve stopped relying on peoples opinions because I’ve realized the most important persons opinion on myself is my own.    A year ago I would have been horrified to leave the house with nothing less then a full face of makeup on, where as now I rarely wear any. Not to say that I don’t wear makeup as a screw you to society or whoever, but I’m more comfortable in my own skin so that I don’t feel  I have to unless I want to wear it. I’m also the heaviest I’ve ever been but I’m also the most confident I’ve ever been. Sure, some days I feel fat but I’m not obsessive about what I wear and how skinny it makes me look. I wear something nice if I want to look nice but I’ve started wearing what I like