Skip to main content

More: a poem



I know a girl who is wrong.
She thinks her beauty is made
Up of the numbers on a scale,
But that scale number is
Far too high for her liking.
She thinks that what 
That boy did to her once 
Is something she will never move past, 
It defines her because who is to blame 
But herself when she never said no.
She thinks the darkness in 
Her mind is too dark to 
Put on anyone else’s shoulders, 
She’s supposed to be the stable one,
So better keep the tears silent.

I know she is so much more then that.

She is my definition of beautiful.
She is so much more then numbers,
Then what we are conditioned to think
Is beauty because unless you like yourself, 
At the end of the day, 
Numbers mean shit. 
She is my definition of unshaken.
She is so much more then the victim, 
Then the poison of someone’s actions,
Because everyday she goes on
Without letting the hate consume her.
She is my definition of strong.
She is so much more then her depression,
Then this picture of brokenness
She is afraid to show,
Because she fights on relentlessly.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Mental llness

   Sometimes I think it's odd that people I see, talk too, work with, have no clue what goes on inside my head; my illness. It's not always physically noticeable, but it's most certainly there. I have clinical anxiety/panic disorder and major depressive disorder.    About 7 months ago my grandmother underwent a major surgery, which resulted in my first panic attack. My grandmother is now fine, as much as someone her age can be, but my anxiety continued and progressively got worse. I'm not sure if it would have resulted eventually anyway or if the stress of the surgery was a trigger, but from that point forward it's been part of my life. Not only did I start having anxiety, but depression too. They hit me like a brick wall and neither me nor my mom knew how to proceed. We started out just seeing if I could suck it up and wait for it to pass. When it didn't pass, and got worse, I told her I needed something to change because I could not live like this. We started

Closure: a poem

Rarely a day goes by that I don’t think of us And I know that sounds melodramatic But I’m just a communication fanatic Finding myself with a lack of closure I know we had that day on the bench With our goodbye kiss And I’m not looking for bliss But it looks like you couldn’t give a shit Anymore I talk to my therapist about my problem with loss But maybe my problem with us Is you. I don’t want to throw blame But every time I try to make it okay You want to walk away But wait There was no closure I’m not done And then comes the irritation Acting like I’m some sort of irregulation I’m not trying to have an interrogation I JUST WANT TO TALK No reply. Maybe that’s why I can’t move on. I know we can’t be the same And I don’t want to go back because I was severely depressed Tired of sex The picture of a wreck But what did I do to you for you to treat me like this When I broke your heart I broke mine as well Rarely a day goes by that I don’t think of us

Authenticity

   Through all the bad I’ve been through and talk about on here, this is the most me I feel I have ever felt and I’m damn proud of it. I think through all I’ve gone through and lost, I found someone I actually like and that’s me. I’m miles from who I was a few years ago and I’m so happy about that. I’ve stopped relying on peoples opinions because I’ve realized the most important persons opinion on myself is my own.    A year ago I would have been horrified to leave the house with nothing less then a full face of makeup on, where as now I rarely wear any. Not to say that I don’t wear makeup as a screw you to society or whoever, but I’m more comfortable in my own skin so that I don’t feel  I have to unless I want to wear it. I’m also the heaviest I’ve ever been but I’m also the most confident I’ve ever been. Sure, some days I feel fat but I’m not obsessive about what I wear and how skinny it makes me look. I wear something nice if I want to look nice but I’ve started wearing what I like